I tried therapy, payed much, little acheived then my therpist calls me annoying when I leave. The very reason I was having therapy was for feeling low in my self-worth and fears of being annoying based on past illusions. Ego stung for a while. Where is human decency? Privacy? Compassion? Love? Confidentiality? What the fuck? A therapist is supposed to be confidential and there to listen not gossip behind your back. Distasteful. Again, my faith in humans dim….
“If you are a poet, you will see clearly that there is a cloud floating in this sheet of paper [assumes you’re reading this in a book]. Without a cloud, there will be no rain; without rain, the trees cannot grow, and without trees we cannot make paper. The cloud is essential for the paper to exist. If the cloud is not here, the sheet of paper cannot be here either…
If we look into this sheet of paper even more deeply, we can see the sunshine in it. If the sunshine is not there, nothing can grow. In fact, nothing can grow. Even we cannot grow without sunshine. And so, we know that the sunshine is also in this sheet of paper. The paper and the sunshine inter-are. And if we continue to look, we can see the logger who cut the tree and brought it to the mill to be transformed into paper. And we see the wheat. We know that the logger cannot exist without his daily bread, and therefore the wheat that became his bread is also in this sheet of paper. And the logger’s father and mother are in it too…
You cannot point out one thing that is not here — time, space, the earth, the rain, the minerals in the soil, the sunshine, the cloud, the river, the heat. Everything co-exists with this sheet of paper… As thin as this sheet of paper is, it contains everything in the universe in it.”
— Thich Nhat Hanh, The Heart of Understanding
Reality is an infinitely interconnected web of differences, where each “node” exerts a force on infinitely many other nodes, and so on, ad infinitum. There is no central node, such that the web is perfectly decentralized. Such that you cannot even say that the web exists, because “existence” is just one more node in the web. Such that “the web” is one more node in the web.
Which is why you can’t grasp it with mind. The only way to grasp it is to become the whole thing.”
“The reason you’re trying to get more money, more sex, more knowledge, more love, more power, more fame, more pleasure, etc, and you can’t seem to get enough, no matter how much you get, is because deep down what you really want is to be infinite. You want an infinite expansion. It’s as though deep down your consciousness realizes that infinity is the goal. But you’re trying to accomplish the infinite through the finite, which will never work. You are like a fly trapped in a windowpane.
Your entire life has been one stifled infinite expansion.”
“What’s amazing about life is that it seems possible to understand every aspect of it if one really cares to know.
-Every aspect of it makes perfect sense when looked at deeply and holistically enough. -Some aspects of it can only be understood by transcending rationality, self, and mind. -The deepest aspects of life is unbelievably counter-intuitive.
Of course most people simply do not care to understand. The intent to understand has to be genuine, and for its own sake. Not a manipulation towards some productive end.
It’s equally amazing that every aspect of life can also be easily misunderstood.
Just remember this, if there’s some aspect of life that doesn’t make sense, it’s only because you haven’t yet really cared to understand it. You haven’t yet been willing to pay the price for the understanding. The deepest understandings require self-sacrifice. They are not things one reads in a textbook or hears in a video.
What would happen if you committed your whole existence to understanding — genuine understanding?”