I tried therapy, payed much, little acheived then my therpist calls me annoying when I leave. The very reason I was having therapy was for feeling low in my self-worth and fears of being annoying based on past illusions. Ego stung for a while. Where is human decency? Privacy? Compassion? Love? Confidentiality? What the fuck? A therapist is supposed to be confidential and there to listen not gossip behind your back. Distasteful. Again, my faith in humans dim….
1. Uncertainty about what is happening, intended, or required.
2. The state of being bewildered or unclear in one’s mind about something.
Baffled and confused, used and abused for different ends. Confusion envelops me into a dust of haze and smog. It is fuzzy out here and I cannot see where I or the future of this planet is headed. Which way to turn? What thought to think? What to belief anymore? What is this baffled brain of mine but a fart in cosmic time.
“Q: Can you say how one can become more artuculate in expressing feelings to help other people?
TRY occasionally to still yourself for a while, to withdraw from all the jangling discord of your world into the silence of your own soul. When you are quiet, passive, receptive, we can come very close for you, for your silence is our opportunity. If you are never still, you set up such a rush of vibrations that they bar the passage and make it almost impossible for us to get close to you.” – The Silver Birch Book Of Questions & Answers
“Our school systems are all nonsynergetic. We take the whole child and fractionate the scope of his or her comprehending coordination by putting the children in elementary schools — to become preoccupied with elements or isolated facts only. Thereafter we force them to choose some specialization, forcing them to forget the whole. We may well ask how it happened that the entire scheme of advanced education is devoted exclusively to ever narrower specialization. We find that the historical beginnings of schools and tutoring were established, and economically supported by illiterate and vastly ambitious warlords who required a wide variety of brain slaves with which to logistically and ballistically overwhelm those who opposed their expansion of physical conquest. They also simultaneously DIVIDED and CONQUERED any and all “bright ones” who might otherwise rise within their realms to threaten their supremacy. The warlord vitiated their threat by making them all specialists and reserving to himself exclusively the right to think about and act comprehensively. The warlord made all those about him differentiators and reserved the function of integration to himself.” – Buckminster Fuller, Presentation to U.S. Congressional Sub-Committee (1969)