I want to balance this blog with more light than dark, however some issues need to be addressed and awareness of these issues raised.
Right now, no one seems to be talking about it, but there is a pandemic of suicides due to this world-wide crisis/planetary evolution.
Suicides are sky rocketing. I will be researching and doing new posts in the future about this vital topic to our times currently.
Suffering in silence with no where to turn; job losses, mental health explosions, breakdowns, fear, depression, anxiety, you name it… Humanity needs our help.
I tried therapy, payed much, little acheived then my therpist calls me annoying when I leave. The very reason I was having therapy was for feeling low in my self-worth and fears of being annoying based on past illusions. Ego stung for a while. Where is human decency? Privacy? Compassion? Love? Confidentiality? What the fuck? A therapist is supposed to be confidential and there to listen not gossip behind your back. Distasteful. Again, my faith in humans dim….
I love that look you give me that makes me feel like a piece of shit, a broken piece of trash. Garbage. That look shrinks my vibration and I know I let it happen. I am weak right now and cannot deal with your look of hate. Thank you. It makes me want to kill myself. Thanks for getting me help when I was young when I needed it, something was clearly wrong when you had a corpse of a daughter who is skin and bone, arms like twigs, breasts as flat as a surface. Now look where I am. Anorexia kills.
And you know I am not well, yet you never have bothered particularly to read my blog or research into my illness. You have no consideration for my mental and physical state. I am sick. It is an invisible sickness. Great support. Just give me another hateful look. I will just not care anymore. Moaning and groaning, gossiping and small talk… It is all a load of damaging, soul shrinking crap.
I know I have caused you a lot of pain… I know that…. I love you. I am sorry. God bless you.
I feel paralysis between the split of one decision amongst the rest.
“Society has become so fake that the truth actually bothers people.” – Chanda Kaushik
We are now in the process of unlearning what we had to learn and learning a new.
Writing can be many things for different minds. Writing in one form, therapy, can be a release, to pen down words and let them go. Writing can allow us to process and recalibrate our lives. Writing is a gift, a passion that will not die in me.